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Spam of the week: From: Adam Phelps <AdamPhelps@0451.com> Date: Mon, 12 Jul 2004 17:49:18 -0060 Subject: Q22 Silence. Stuck out my head. Nobody. And I went on my way, whistling a tune. Jonathan sighed. The price of being misunderstood, he thought. ...

Today on my way home, a fine gentleman sat next to me on the bus. He was so respectable that despite the fact that he was too drunk to do it successfully, he tried very hard to hide the fact that he was drinking a bottle of listerine. Every once in a while t...

It's tax time, and you just have to deal with it. Originally posted on Thursday, 2006-03-23 at 11:00:29.

What do the Pope and Terri Schiavo have in common? Come on, that question is its own punchline. Originally posted on Friday, 2005-04-01 at 15:26:28.

Today I saw something I've never seen before. Nor do I ever expect to see it again. It was the damndest thing. Jeff kicked a power bar, the things with multiple power outlets that you can turn on and off, and it fucking blew up. It exploded with a fury a...

I've done some stupid things in the past. Some of them really stupid. This ranks up there with the best of them. My brother convinced me to attempt eating a 72 ounce steak at the Lone Star. It cost $40, but it was one of those, "If-you-can-finish-this-meal...

"No scents is good sense", or so the new signs in my office tell me. It's supposed to be the start of some sort of campaign to get us to stop wearing scented products to the office for people who are sensitive to them. What about the people who are sensitive...

They say necessity is the mother of invention, and I guess they were right about that one. Being at work when you don't want to be there; on a Friday afternoon; when it's sunny outside; can make your mind do weird things. We invented a new sport: Carpet Sur...

Make your friends say whatever you want. All you have to do is upload a photo, tell the app where to position the markers for eyes, nose, and mouth, and type in what you want them to say. I'm especially fond of the "Scottish Male" voice. You have to downlo...

Jill writes: "William Shrubsall, the charming fellow who beat his mother to death with a baseball bat, has applied to legally change his name to Ethan Simon Templar MacLeod - AKA The Saint." Judge_Fredd sent in this site questioning whether man has actually w...

I'm accustomed to having things go wrong with my car. It's fairly old at almost 8 years, and admittedly, I haven't exactly taken it in for regular maintanence, or even to have recalls done. Even after all this abuse and neglect that I and so many others put ...

Mr. Nice writes: "Hi. My name is Mr. Nice. As you can see, I don't have any arms or hands. But that doesn't stop me from dancing, does it? Would you like to see me dance?" Originally posted on Wednesday, 2002-05-29 at 22:15:36.

I wanted a new bedside lamp. I went out to Home Depot and bought a new bedside lamp. I wasn't able to completely understand the instruction manual, but luckily there exists a medium where idiots can ask questions. It is called the Internet. I scanned it ...

This is the most retarded thing I've seen all week. I know Google is trying to be all multi-language and stuff (I tend to get redirected to Google.ca most of the time), but this is ridiculous. A version of Google for Klingons. Originally posted on Wednesda...

Am I the only one who thinks this is total and complete crap? Read this press release and see if you can discern what (if any) difference there is between rotating the condiments 180 degrees and turning the @#$%! sandwich around. I absolutely cannot believ...

Another in the long line of Flash games that never cease to amuse me. You can actually spank a monkey. It's funny because there's a monkey, and you spank him. My top score is 822 mph, but I sort of found a way to cheat :) See if you can do any better. O...

This guy, at some point in the past, had a very interesting auction running on Ebay. Unfortunately, the thought police got to it before the masses could. I guess he's just sick and tired of kicking people's asses for free. Originally posted on Wednesday...

I posted this story about a stupid squirrel in a flash video and I was like, "Wheeeeeeeeee!" Originally posted on Wednesday, 2001-09-19 at 12:34:01.

Yeah, I know this site is pretty damn ugly. I don't pretend to be any good at picking colors and stuff like that. That's why I became a software developer and not a fashion consultant. So I leave it to you, the good people who may be reading this, to pick...