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This guy sucks at the Internet

Some of you know that I have an MP3 of the Month section of this website. Soon enough it got indexed by Google, and lots of passers-by were dropping in just to download MP3s. I didn't think that was so hot.

Come inside and let me tell you a story.

I had intended these MP3s for *you* people, the people that actually contribute to the site with comments and story submissinos so I changed a little bit o' code so you had to be logged in to download. Well, people started creating user accounts just to download MP3s and then fucked off and never showed up again. "This sucks," I thought. Another quick hack, and now you had to have been logged in as a user account that was at least 2 days old in order to download.

I thought that measure would deter all but the most determined MP3 downloaders, and it has. Except for the real dipshits. Check out this email I got from this guy who thinks its MY fault he isn't smart enough to pirate his own music :)

Date: Wed, 31 Jul 2002 02:30:40 -0300
Subject: [] Your website sucks balls!

I came to your site looking for an mp3 after searching a major search engine and got your elitist arrogant little message telling me to join or go away. How does 'get fucked' sound? If you are able to get your hand off your dick while looking at all the people who visit this site thinking you are god's gift to the internet and put your pants back on don't bother replying.

As you can imagine, I found this enormously funny. Like I'm going to get insulted by some 12 year old who can't figure out how to use Kazaa. I'm actually surprised he spelled everything correctly. I still think computers should require an operating licence.

So you, my friend deserve one of these:

Originally posted on Wednesday, 2002-07-31 at 12:29:15.